Wednesday, January 6, 2010

i just lost my appetite


So you discovered boxers.
And you think it drives me mad with desire. Every time I see that Jockey band and the dirty Madras print peering out of the back of your jeans, I’ll go hysterical, tear my clothes off and fling myself at you.
Wake up. And smell the diesel fuel.
What are you? Pimply and fifteen? Because chances are unless you’re Mark Wahlberg, it’s never gonna happen.
When I see that Jockey band all I’m thinking is ‘gross, when was this thing ever washed.’
And the fact that your jeans are so low or loose does not necessarily mean you are slim. Or a hip hop artist. It means you’re a retard who obviously can’t go out and buy yourself a belt. Or no woman considers you good enough to sit you down, and tell you where you’d get one.
Scary. Almost as scary as that frayed band sticking out of your jeans.
So here’s some advice: keep those boxers out of sight. And pray really hard. That someday you’ll find someone who doesn’t mind seeing them.

10 comments:

Perakath said...

But I take it you don't have anything against the species of chaddi itself, as contrasted with brieps/boxer-briefs/trunks/slips/male thongs/loincloths?

agentgreenglass said...

male thongs, excuse me while i throw up my lunch!

mentalie said...

if the male in question got a brazilian wax the thongs might just be acceptable...hm.

ki said...

Oh my god I can't believe I didn't know about this blog.

And I hope a national newspaper publishes this. The number of times I've had to stand next to a smelly guy with 'Tommy' or even (!!!) 'Calvin Kline' peeping out of his jeans is not even funny :P

Cloudcutter said...

Have you ever been traumatised by the jhataak red Playboy boxers (Made in India)? Oh! the horror. I still recoil at the thought of it!!!

agent green glass said...

@ki: calvin kline. mmmph...that's another post all together. Lives, and Payboy and calvin kline...noooo!

@cloudcutter: oh yeah. i've seen those. more than i want to.

Atrisa said...

@CC - My friend was gifted those on his bday!
@AGG - ROFL!

Perakath said...

No fair, ladies! I have to say I'm always very happy to see any sign of bra, no matter how lowly the brand or garish the colour!

Cloudcutter said...

LOL @Perakath. You make a valid point. One wonders then, why do women spend so much time and money on underwear, when clearly it should be the other way round? Come on boys, sex up your packages if you want them opened!

agent green glass said...

@CC: bloody well said!