it’s time you made your own bed and breakfast.

while your mum has dedicated a lifetime to making your favourite meals, washing your underwear and telling you how wonderous you are, you might have noticed that nobody else has the time. yup, it’s a hard fact of life that must be acknowledged and accepted - mums are the worst trainers in the world when it comes to bringing up adult men.

radical as it sounds, other than childbirth there is little that can be classified as man-stuff and girl-stuff today and an essential part of internalizing this cataclysmic shift is getting your own pad, my friend. 


besides which, i assure you there are a number of advantages to this plan. 

let me introduce you to the top ten right away:

1. you can have the chikas over. that’s a no-brainer of course.

2. you can impress the shit out of them. luckily for you, this doesn’t take much. given that the majority of indian men live with their mommies through adulthood and beyond, the very fact that you have dared to snap the apron strings could do wonders for your sex life.

3. you can leverage their irrepressible instinct to make you a better man. whether you are a gourmet chef or pride yourself on your tasteful selection of take out menus, whether you obsessively hound the maid or miss the pot when you pee, whether you handpicked your home furnishings or live and let live with your mouldy mattress – it’s inevitable that we’ll want to better it, and you.

4. you can have cigarettes, porn, women and other such contraband lying around, no questions asked. sweet, huh?

5. you can set up the TV, hi fi, fridge, gaming console and computer within arm's reach of the bed, just the way you always wanted.

6. you can be lord and master of the remote (a once in a lifetime opportunity, this). plus you can watch ftv, project runway, wife swap, grey’s anatomy, late night gemini, espn, or erm, anything else you like, in complete and dignified privacy.

7. you can have the guys over on weekends and game nights and pre/post party booze ups.

8. you can do away with the petty formality of dressing up and walk around buck naked if you are so inclined.

9. you can have mommy fuss over you more than ever when you visit on the weekends.

10. you can master the kind of stuff that could potentially make chikas (and mommy) swoon - viz, how to make some eggs, toast, tea and your bed.


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